Vista Shoppers Recommendation

Love Vs Marriage

Love is like riding a bicycle

Marriage is like sailing a ship.

If you don't  like to ride the bicycle

you can get down in middle.

But,

ship..?

Hi Boss

People who do lots of work,
makes lots of mistakes.


People who do less work,
makes less mistakes.


People who do no work,
makes no mistakes.


People who make no mistakes,
gets promoted.


Thats why I spend most of my time
sending emails and playing games at work.

Human Resources Lingo

COMPETITIVE SALARY - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY  - We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE  - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED  - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED  - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around. 

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL  - We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED - Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON  - If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE  - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST  - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS  - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS  - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Lawyers & Engineer

A group of attorneys had to measure the height of a flag pole for evidence to support a lawsuit. They went out to the flagpole with ladders and a tape measure.

They proceed to fall off the ladders and drop the tape measure, the whole thing was just a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurements to one of the attorneys and walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one attorney turns to another and laughs. 'Isn't that just like an engineer. We're looking for the height, and he gives us the length'

Joke of the Day

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule?

Student : Sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.