Exam

Birth and Death comes once in life..
Love comes once in life..
Marriage comes once in life..

But

Why does this bloody “EXAM” comes again and again……..

Love Vs Marriage

Love is like riding a bicycle

Marriage is like sailing a ship.

If you don't  like to ride the bicycle

you can get down in middle.

But,

ship..?

Human Resources Lingo

COMPETITIVE SALARY - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY  - We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE  - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED  - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED  - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around. 

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL  - We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED - Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON  - If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE  - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST  - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS  - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS  - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Lawyers & Engineer

A group of attorneys had to measure the height of a flag pole for evidence to support a lawsuit. They went out to the flagpole with ladders and a tape measure.

They proceed to fall off the ladders and drop the tape measure, the whole thing was just a mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurements to one of the attorneys and walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one attorney turns to another and laughs. 'Isn't that just like an engineer. We're looking for the height, and he gives us the length'

Joke of the Day

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule?

Student : Sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.

நாவல்

பையன் 1: எங்க வாத்தியாரை பற்றி சின்னதா ஒரு நாவல் எழுதியிருக்கேன்.
பையன் 2: அப்படின்னா, அது "குரு" நாவல் - ன்னு சொல்லு.

சுவரொட்டியுடன் சர்தார்

ஒருமுறை சர்தார் தெரு ஓரமாக நடந்து போய் கொண்டிருந்தார். அப்பொழுது அங்குள்ள சுவர் ஒன்றில் "இதை படிப்பவன் முட்டாள்" என்று எழுதியிருந்தது...

அதை படித்தவுடன் சர்தாருக்கு கோபம் வந்துவிட்டது. நேராக அந்த சுவற்றில் எழுதியிருந்ததை அழித்துவிட்டு "இதை எழுதியவன் முட்டாள்" என்று எழுதிவிட்டு போனார்...

டாக்டர் ஜோக்

உதவியாளர்: கண்ணுல மண் விழுந்திருச்சின்னு ட்ரீட்மென்ட் பண்ணிக்கிட்டாரே,
அவர் பீஸ் கொடுக்காம போயிட்டார் டாக்டர்...

டாக்டர்: நம்ம கண்ணுல மண்ணைதூவிட்டு போயிட்டானா...

I.T. Roles in Heaven

Brahma - Systems Installation

Vishnu - Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi - Finance and Accounts consultant

Saraswati - Training and Knowledge Management

Shiva - DBA (Crash Specialist)

Ganesh - Quality Assuarance & Documentation

Narada - Data transfer

Yama - Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant

Chitragupta - IDP & Personal Records

The Apsaras - Downloadable Viruses

The Devas - Mainframe Programmers

Surya - Solaris Administrator

The Rakshasas - In house Hackers

Ravanan - Internet Explorer WWF

Kumbhakarnan - Zombie Process

Lakshmanan - Support Software and Backup

Hanuman - Linux/s390

Vaali - MS Windows

Sugreeva - DOS

Jatayu - Firewall

Dronacharya - System Programmer

Vishwamitra - Sr. Manager Projects

Shakuni - Annual appraisal & Promotion

Valmiki - Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)

Krishna - SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )

Dharmaraj Yudhishthira - ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)

Arjuna - Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)

Abhimanyu - Trainee Programmer

Draupadi - Motivation & Team building

Bhima - MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM

Duryodhana - Microsoft product Written in VB

Karna - Contract programmer

Dhritarashtra - Visual C++

Gandhari - Dreamweaver

100 Kauravas - Microsoft Service Packs and patches

கொசு "கடி "

நைட்ல கொசு கடிச்சா
"குட் நைட்"
வைக்க முடியும்.

ஆனால்,

பகலில் கொசு கடிச்சா
"குட் மார்னிங்"
வைக்க முடியுமா..?

A Man Chat with Angel

A Man was
walking down the street,
When he heard a Voice,

“Don’t Take a Step
Forward, B’coz
a Brick is going
to Fall”…

The Man Didn’t Move
and the Brick Fell in
Front of Him…

The hr Walked Further…
Again the Voice,

“Don’t Cross the Road,
B’coz a Car will Hit You”…

The Man Didn’t Move.
A Car Screeching and
almost missed him.
Now he asked,

“Who Are You?”

The Voice replied,

“I’m Your Guardian Angel”.

The Man Asked,

“Oh Yeah!!! If You are
An Angel then,
WHERE The HELL
were YOU, WHEN I GOT MARRIED?.?.?.”

பேச்சாளர்

விசய ஞானத்துடன் நல்லா பேசறீங்களே,
"பேசாம" பெரிய பேச்சாளர் ஆகிவிடலாமே!

"பேசாம" எப்படிங்க பேச்சாளர் ஆகமுடியும்?